As for the latest in our Top 5 Lists series, we asked Maxi from Futbol Intellect to bring his humor and love for GIFs to the site. You can follow Maxi on Twitter at @FutbolIntellect. That all said, here are his Top 5 US Soccer-related GIFs.
Here’s a quick fact for you: within 100 years, history won’t be taught with textbooks, but with iPads packed with 6-second GIFs offering a glimpse into the most important moments in human history, from President Barack Obama’s inaugural speech, to that time a panda sneezed in a zoo. As a board-certified historian, I can confirm that fact. Heavy stuff.
That said, the fine folks from Over There thought it a good idea to get a jump on our inevitable future, and make the task of future Apple GIF Geniuses® a bit easier, lest they take the wealth of cardboard Deuce Face GIFs as evidence of an early century cult. Here’s the Top 5 US soccer-related GIFs!
5) Stanky Leg Deluxe
Ahh, the halcyon days where Charlie Davies and Jozy Altidore ran rampant, while the future of US soccer looked sure to be dominated by outrageous goals and wacky dance moves. US soccer has certainly turned out well (thanks Jurgey!), but the carefree and naive play that we loved during the 2010 World Cup qualification process has been noticeably absent. Here’s to the alternate universe where Charlie Davies stanky legged his way to a World Cup Final.
4) GET OFF THE FIELD, SNOW PUSHER
Speaking of World Cup qualification, the US has struggled through it’s fair share of awkward matches during the last few months. The best, from a fan’s point of view? Costa Rica in Denver; a match that shouldn’t have taken place, that shouldn’t have been played out, and that shouldn’t have ended with a fairly straight-forward three points for the US. While the number of quality GIFs from the match are numerous, I personally prefer this one, of Geoff Cameron giving a bit of help to a snow shoveler late in the second half. An excellent team effort, all around.
Look at Taylor Twellman’s spot-on Chris Kattan impression, all the way from the perfect head nod to the eyes filled with decades of sorrow, and tell me this isn’t one of the best GIFs you’ve ever seen. The only problem is that like the sirens of ancient mythology, once you see it, you can’t look away. It was 9AM when I first found this GIF; the time is now 7PM on a Tuesday evening in 2018. Send help.
2) DON’T TOUCH ME, BRO
Does the San Jose Earthquake mascot have a name? Or even a species? All I know is that David Beckham was seconds away from getting into a legitimate fight with a sports mascot. Bonus points for the ‘Sportscenter is Next!’ sign.
1) Landon, what do you think of this list?
The amount of emotional catharsis in this GIF is overwhelming. Not just for Landon, but for myself as well. Landon spends months overseas, only to come back *sniffles* and fight his…his…*sobs* WAY BACK TO THE US SQUAD?! Seriously though, just queue up an Explosions in the Sky song and let it play while stare into Landon Donovan’s soul. Better yet, just play this on YouTube and let the GIF overcome you.